It's Cold Outside

Snow deck
Originally uploaded by Theresa K.

Today, it was sunny but a below-freezing 29 degrees. If the wind didn't blow, it wasn't that bad. I decided to take a walk in the sun and take some pictures.

At the corner of Lorain and Gehring, across the street from the West Side Market, I happened upon a seagull lying on its back. I am embarrassed to admit it, but I photographed him. I thought perhaps he was dead. But he was very much alive. He stared me down with this beady red eyes.

I walked away from him, thinking maybe he was stunned and would get up in a moment and start attacking me like Alfred Hitchcock's crazed crows in "The Birds." I was talking to Troy on the phone, so I was kind of rambling, and I kept an eye on the bird.

He managed to stand up. So, I thought that he had indeed been stunned and would be OK and fly away soon. I continued walking to my destination (a manhole cover foundried in Canada).

On my way back, the seagull was standing at the cross walk. He hadn't moved since I watched him get up. As I approached, I noticed that his wing was broken and that he could not fly if he wanted to.

He stepped into the street. He fell down on his back again. He looked at me and implored me to help him.

I called 411 on my cel phone, asking for Cleveland's Animal Control. Once I was connected, I heard their prerecorded outgoing message instructing callers such as myself to call the police. As I was calling 411 again to get connected to the police, I saw a squad car one intersection away and waved it down. Of course, in the interim, I had been waving cars away from the path of the bird. I didn't want him to be squished, and I certainly did not want to witness his death, as it was 100% preventable.

The policemen were nice enough but pretty smug in their resolve to do nothing. I kept wearing these guys down, using my best blonde girl voice, flirting with them as a last resort. Of course, I am an olive skinned brunette and was wearing a babushka and they probably thought I could be Arab and they seemed pretty redneck, so I was taking a big risk.

The policemen finally offered to drive into the parking lot of the West Side Market to find a box. When they pulled back over to me and the gull, one of them got out of the car and coaxed the bird into the box and put the box on the sidewalk.

The gull tried to bite the box top that the cop used to slide him into the box. FINALLY, the policeman radio'd someone to send some kind of animal control officer to retrieve the bird, and gave the bird's whereabouts.

I do hope that someone, whether animal control officer or good samaritan, came to the bird's rescue.

I did as much as I could. I could not take him home. And seriously, I know he would have attacked me and I don't want a bird bite.

The situation begs a couple questions. I did pose the rhetorical question that "animals injured on the road on Sunday just get to die?" That's when the policemen started to tell me that Cleveland's Animal Control and Humane Society just don't operate on Sunday - "not like in the cities you see on Animal Planet." OK -- that show he was talking about is "Animal Cops Detroit."

I've spent considerable time in Detroit. I know the city inside out. If your city is in worse shape than Detroit, you're not just in the toilet, you are below the sewer.

Secondly, why are the Cleveland cops so smug? Why do they not want to help?

These things both need to change.
The cops have to care. In Los Angeles, where I was born and raised, the motto of the police force is "To protect and serve." Now, the LA cops are no angels. They beat Rodney King, after all. But in Cleveland, it seems like the police motto is "To drive around acting smug."

And what about the Animal Control or Humane Society? Gulls can pose a danger to humans, so if you're gonna be selfish, as it seems you are, why don't you at least protect the people from the injured gulls? Seriously now -- no creature has to die if its senseless death can be prevented.

Don't you believe in karma?

Baby, its cold outside.